Trying to Understand My Fear of Looking Dumb

Imagine being in a meeting room full of people. Everyone is talking about something they call ‘Patato’. They keep saying how important ‘Patato’ is and that we should all use it. Then, they look at you and ask, ‘When will ‘Patato’ be ready?’ Here’s the thing - you have no idea what ‘Patato’ is. So, you take a deep breath, raise your hand, and ask, ‘What is ‘Patato’?’ Right after you ask that question, your nervous system gets triggered, you feel horrible, and lots of thoughts start rushing through your mind....

July 24, 2023 · 6 min · alexa

On the Last Day: A Diary's Close

On the last day, I read. I read my little notebook, the cover of which resembled fresh-roasted coffee. Attached to it was a keychain of a ship’s wheel, and a yellow tiger with fiery red eyes and vibrant green stripes. I bought it from a kind woman I met at a serene Japanese temple. She said it would help me realize my dreams. This notebook was with me for four months in 2019....

July 12, 2023 · 2 min · alexa

Reading books after turning 30

People often say you gotta start reading young if you want to be a reader. But me? I didn’t dive into books for real until I was 30+. It’s not that I hadn’t read any books before that time; I read what I needed for school, university, and work. But it was a chore, I read to pass exams, solve problems, or learn something that was necessary. Finding the Love for Books I always wondered why I didn’t have this love for books....

July 7, 2023 · 4 min · alexa

What if I become a writer?

A few years ago, a teacher told me: “Writing can help you feel the emotion or situation you’re writing about. This means if you write about love, you will remember how love feels. If you write about shame, you will also connect with that uncomfortable shame inside you.” I remember thinking “What a wonderful thing writing is”. I Imagined being able to access such a wide range of emotions and having the skill to share stories that make people feel something inside them....

July 3, 2023 · 3 min · alexa